


A Canine Conundrum

by javabi



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Animagus, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Humor, Literal Sleeping Together, Marauders, Marauders' Era, Other, Sleepy Cuddles, mentions of james/sirius - but not really?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 17:37:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4530990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/javabi/pseuds/javabi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James Potter isn't kissing who he thinks he's kissing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Canine Conundrum

As far as James was concerned, this was basically the best dream ever. Grinning so hard his cheeks ached all the way back in reality, he wrapped his arms more securely around Lily’s waist and kissed her playfully on the nose. She giggled, her copper hair shining brilliantly in the tropical sun.

This was how he knew it was a dream. Because instead of sitting in their cottage in Godric’s Hollow, worrying about everything from Lord-freaking-Voldemort himself to what they were going to feed their future baby (who would be here in less than six months, sweet _Merlin_ ), James and Lily were basking on a beach without a care in the world. That and the fact they were snogging, which happened less and less frequently now that they were both full-time Order members.

He was definitely dreaming.

James hummed happily as he twined his fingers through her hair, using his other hand to rub small circles into her lower back.

Lily stopped kissing him for a moment, instead leaning forward to murmur into his ear, “We don’t do this enough anymore.”

Bringing her hand up to his lips so he could kiss the tips of her fingers, James smiled mischievously and replied, “Already thinking about Prongslet 2.0? Padfoot will love that… Moony and Wormy too obviously, but Sirius seems especially excited.”

Lily made a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a snort. Maybe this dream was more realistic than James thought – she _did_ make that noise every time he mentioned “Prongslet 2.0.” Instead of replying directly, Lily leaned down to kiss his neck, muttering, “Or we could just make use of the time we’ve got right now…”

Back to dreamland, then.

Still, James wasn’t complaining; he grunted in agreement and pulled her closer. But no sooner had he started fumbling with the back of her bikini when she suddenly licked his face.

“Er – Lils –“ James started awkwardly, but then she did it again. And again. She continued licking him with the flat of her tongue, all over his cheeks, chin, nose, forehead, and around his lips.

He was about to protest when it occurred to him that maybe this was some new kink she wanted to try. Even more likely (since this was dreamland), it was some new kink that _James_ wanted to try, and this was his subconscious’ way of giving him the chance to try it out. James mentally patted his imagination on the back for being so unique and adventurous.

Lily was still licking his face. It wasn’t remotely sexy, but he’d already decided to give the idea a chance. Keeping this in mind, he moaned half-heartedly and said, “Yeah Lils – don’t stop” in what he hoped was a sexy, manly voice.

* * *

 

Through a haze of sleepy confusion, Lily heard someone saying her name. No, not “someone” – it was definitely her husband. James was the only one who called her “Lils.” Thinking he needed something, she replied groggily, “Whassamatter?”

James suddenly let out a weird, slightly pained moan. Still not even close to being fully awake, Lily reached across their bed to touch him. Hoping he wasn’t having another nightmare, she felt around on top of the duvet in an attempt to find his hand.

But instead of her husband’s smooth skin, Lily suddenly found herself touching something horribly… _furry_?!

Now she was fully awake.

“What the–?”

Sitting up quickly, Lily looked down to see an enormous, bear-like black dog was taking up most of the bed, and all of the space between herself and James. Her husband had both arms wrapped around the dog’s middle as though they were snuggling. They had their faces pressed together, and (both of them still miraculously asleep) the dog was licking James’ face very slowly and deliberately.

“Yeah Lils – don’t stop…” James moaned in his horrible trying-to-be-sexy voice that he still didn’t know Lily hated.

At that point Lily couldn’t help herself – she let out a burst of laughter. The sound woke both man and dog.

Presumably the first thing James noticed when he opened his eyes was the slobbery pink dog tongue that was covering half his face, because he yelped and fell out of bed almost immediately. The dog also yelped, and in his panic Padfoot changed back into a man. A very surprised (and very naked) Sirius Black was suddenly sitting in the middle of the Potters’ bed.

“Morning, Pads,” James said weakly, picking himself up off the floor.

“’lo James – Lily –“ Sirius said casually, apparently already over the shock of waking up as a dog who had been licking his best friend’s face. He didn’t even seem phased by his nudity.

“Get lonely out there on the couch, Padfoot?” Lily asked, still trying to keep the laughter out of her voice. Sirius merely shrugged, grinning unapologetically.

“You know how this one is, Lils –“ said James cheerfully, tossing Sirius his clothes from across the room. “He needs a good snuggle now and then.” James winked flirtatiously.

“And I thank you for it,” Sirius said in the same cheery voice, blowing them both a kiss before pulling his shirt over his head.

Lily raised her eyebrows and snorted with laughter. “There are some jokes to be made here about doggy style, but it’s too early in the morning for me to say them.” Lily yawned and started to leave the room as James and Sirius roared with laughter.

“You’re a beast in bed, Padfoot.”

“Pretty sure Moony still holds that title.”

“Well you’d know better than anyone.” James chucked a pillow at his best friend’s head as he said it.

Sirius grinned in response, then stuck out his tongue at James.

“You keep that thing to yourself, Black!” Lily called from the hallway. “And you better brush your teeth before you come near me again today, James Potter!”

“Yes darling!” James called. He pulled on a pair of trousers and muttered so only Sirius could hear him, “Imagine if she’d been around the last time this happened, back when we were at Hogwarts…”

“What, and seen me in all my sleepy, naked glory lying in bed and snogging a stag that happens to be the future father of her children?” Sirius said cheekily, brushing his long hair out of his eyes with a smirk. “Why would that be weird?”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my soulmate Anthony for saying "okay, but what if THIS happened" one day while we weren't doing anything... that conversation was the sole inspiration for this, so you can blame the whole thing on his stroke of comedic genius. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks so much for reading! I hope you laughed as hard reading it as I did while I was writing it :)


End file.
